Why cant I stop fiddling with my hair?

Hair twirling may seem to be a harmless habit, but there is a real risk that it can develop into something more serious. It is not uncommon for people to sub-consciously engage in repetitive behaviours such as foot tapping, shaking the legs or hair twirling in response to stress, anxiety or even tiredness. According to sensory integration theory these behaviours serve to soothe excessive or elicit dampened sensory stimuli.  While for most people this will never be more than a habitual response, for some this can signal the beginning of compulsive hair pulling disorder.

From Twirling to Pulling

Trichotillomania, or compulsive hair pulling disorder is characterized by the repetitive, compulsive pulling of the hair to the extent that it often causes balding or long term hair loss. There is no one specific cause for a person to develop trichotillomania, but it is often reported to provide the individual with a sense of release from anxiety, stress or boredom. Like all body-focused repetitive behaviours (BFRBs) it is believed that the person experiences this release when engaging in the behaviour and then seeks out this experience again and again until the hair pulling response becomes habitual. In this way, harmless hair twirling can evolve into habitual hair pulling, and eventually into a disorder.

When Should You be Concerned?

Two of the key criteria for diagnosis of trichotillomania is that the individual is not able to stop engaging in the behaviour despite attempting to do so, and that there is noticeable interference of the behaviour with the person's daily functioning. For example people who pull their hair often avoid situations where balding or thinning hair will be exposed such as the beach or the poolside. When hair twirling increases in frequency, the person is not able to stop, or they start experiencing the urge to twirl the hair to the extent that they seek out opportunities to engage in this behaviour at the expense of other activities. For example the person may stay in the bathroom for longer or choose to stay home rather than go out.

Do I Have Trichotillomania?

Prevention is better than cure

The minute there are signs of your hair twirling becoming addictive in nature, it is advisable to seek professional advice. It is also important to develop awareness and understanding about your twirling behaviour. By doing so you will be able to identify precipitating factors that contribute the your hair twirling. Although trichotillomania is not well known even among the medical fraternity, it is advisable to speak to a health professional about your concerns. You can also get valuable information from the various website communities such as the Trichotillomania Learning Centre (TLC) or the Canadian BFRB Support Network (CBSN) who do great work in raising awareness about the disorder.

Tasneem Abrahams

Tasneem is an Occupational Therapist, and a graduate of the TLC foundation for BFRBs professional training institute. Her experience in mental health includes working at Lentegeur Psychiatric hospital forensic unit (South Africa), Kingston Community Adult Learning Disability team (UK), Clinical Specialist for the Oasis Project Spelthorne Community Mental Health team (UK). Tasneem is a member of both the editorial team and the clinical staff on TrichStop, providing online therapy for people who suffer from Trichotillomania and other BFRBs.

In the movies, playing with hair and twirling it in a circle has been long associated with flirting. In reality, it is often a nasty habit that harms your hair and speaks of stress and anxiety.

Read on to know why you should better leave your hair alone and what practices will help you stop touching your hair so often.

Why Do Women Play with Their Hair?

Most women will agree that touching hair, twirling the tips, constantly pulling hair back from the face, stroking your mane, and other signs of “hand-in-hair syndrome” are all subconscious actions. But why do we do them after all?

Psychology has an answer here: these actions are comforting. Many women cling to their hair as a source of confidence and touch it when they want to regain self-possession. Likewise, when women are not satisfied with how their hair looks or feels and this harms their self-esteem, they use fidgeting with hair as the way to “fix” their hairstyle or at least distract from it.

Note that if the habit started as a soothing activity but remains just a habit, people might still “read” your body language this way. Suppose you touch your hair several times on a job interview. This will be understood not as you taking pride in your carefully selected hairstyle for a job interview but as your lack of confidence and uneasiness.

There is nothing wrong with setting your hair in place now and then. Still, if you touch your hair frequently all the time, this may be a symptom of anxiety disorder and can develop into trichotillomania – compulsive hair pulling that causes visible hair loss.

Related Post: 5 Tips for Living with Trichotillomania Based on My Honest Story

Stay conscious about when and how often you touch or pull at your hair for a day or two to understand if you have this habit and how bad it is.

Is Twirling Bad for Your Hair?

When our hair looks greasy, dry, and frizzy, we are all too eager to blame it all on heat styling, wrong products, or cold weather. In fact, touching hair often throughout the day may be just as damaging. Here are the negative consequences of fidgeting with hair to be aware of:

• Greasiness and dirt. Our hands accumulate oils and dirt that get into our hair when we touch it. This makes our hair look greasy, triggers frequent washing, and clogs the scalp and hair follicles. Hands and touches also spread viruses, of which we have been recalled all too often lately.
• Loss of moisture. Stroking hair may be triggered by the wish to soothe the feeling of dryness; however, it only makes matters worse. Touching hair, we strip it of its natural oils (the ones that make hair look shiny and healthy), causing even more dryness and breakage.
• Frizz, knots, and split ends. No matter how tempting it is to play with coils, curly girls are taught not to fidget with their hair to have frizz under control. Now, it’s time to learn from them, as mechanical stress leads to split ends and hair breakage.
• Hair thinning. Twirling your hair, you may unintentionally pull out some hairs. Doing so is harmful to the follicle, which trains not to produce new hairs with time. Repeated plucking can cause infection and bald patches.

5 Ways to Keep Hands off Your Hair

Now that you know that the habit is not harmless, you might want to get rid of it once and for all. Thankfully, we know how:

#1: Take Proper Care of Your Hair

As mentioned above, you might want to touch your hair more often if you are not comfortable with your hairstyle or when your hair feels dry and brittle. Thus, why not start with getting a good haircut and committing to proper hair care?

If you feel the yearning to set your hair in place often during the day, consider short haircuts and haircuts that would keep your hair away from your face. If long bangs urges you to take it away from your eyes, better refuse from this hairstyle.

#2: Occupy Your Hands

If you play with your hair because you love how it feels – this is often the case with curly girls who love spending time with their hands buried in their big hair – getting a nice fidget toy may help.

Make sure your cube or squeeze toys are with you when you want to concentrate on work or, vice versa, feel bored and do things mindlessly. These are often the moments when we disturb our hair the most.

#3: Style Hair in an Updo

Styling hair into an updo or at least half updo or braiding a tight braid might also help: pulling hair away from your face makes it out of reach for your fingers. Stick to such hairstyles for a while to break the habit.

#4: Wrap Your Hair

Headwrap is another protective hairstyle that will help you break free from the hands-in-hair syndrome. If you are not good at styling silk scarfs, carelessly tie one when you are at home or just put on a bonnet. This will remind you not to touch your hair and prevent any unconscious attempts to do so.

#5: Train Mindfulness

The last recommendation can well be the first. Since we touch our hair without even noticing it, becoming mindful of the practice is the first step to leaving it behind.

Second, once playing with hair is associated with stress relief, mindfulness will help you realize what makes you anxious and will be a good stress-relief in itself before you find alternative coping techniques.

Loving your hair doesn’t mean patting and stroking it all the time. Wear your crown with confidence and dignity, and fight your urge to touch it.

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