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Healthy Children > Ages & Stages > Teen > Dating & Sex > Coming Out: Information for Parents of LGBTQ Teens Ages & Stages Coming Out: Information for Parents of LGBTQ Teens
Page Content "Coming out" is a lifelong journey of understanding, acknowledging and sharing one's gender identity and/or sexual orientation with others. It may be quick and easy for some, or longer and more difficult for others. It is important for parents of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) teens to remember each child is unique and will have their own experiences and feelings along the way. "I feel different from other kids..."Feelings of being "different" emerge throughout childhood, although it may not be clear to the child what the feelings means. Children may begin exploring gender and relationships before kindergarten, so "coming out" and sharing these feelings of being different with others may happen at any time. For many kids, gender identity becomes clear around puberty as they develop gender characteristics and stronger romantic attractions. However, many LGBTQ teens have said, in retrospect, that they began to sense something "different" about themselves early in life, and for gender diverse youth, sometimes as far back as preschool. See Gender Diverse & Transgender Children. It is common for LGBTQ teens to feel scared or nervous during this stage. Some can start to feel isolated from their peers, especially if they feel that they don't fit in or are given a hard time for being different. Just remember that children who feel loved and accepted for who they are have a much easier time. Parents and families can:
"I think I might be gay (or lesbian, bi, or trans), but I'm not sure, and I don't know how I feel about that..."Beyond just feeling "different," young people begin to wonder if they might be "gay" (or lesbian, bi or trans) or some other label they may prefer. Many teens have mixed feelings when they first try on a new way of identifying. It can be a mix of excitement, relief, and worry. Many children may try to suppress these feelings to meet societal expectations, to fit in, or even to avoid upsetting their parents or families. In some cases, teens might be overwhelmed by all these feelings, which increases the risk for depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. For example, they may isolate themselves from others for fear of being exposed, or "outed." Some teens may feel very alone, especially if they live in a community that doesn't have an active LGBTQ-youth support system. Having a supportive and helpful environment at home and good relationships with friends and will help teens to manage their feelings and deal with any discrimination they may face. "I accept that I'm gay, but what will my family and friends say?"Teens may accept that they are LGBTQ but not yet ready to start sharing this information with anyone yet. Some will feel comfortable being open about their identity, while other teens may not tell anyone for a long time. Teens may look for clues on how you feel about their gender identity and sexual orientation. Speaking positively about LGBTQ celebrities or current events you will let them know you are supportive of their identity. Society has become more open and accepting of LGBTQ individuals, and young people are beginning to come out at earlier ages than they did a generation ago. Children may first come out to online communities or peers they perceive as safe and accepting before telling their family. It is important for parents and children to realize that acceptance is a process that involves the entire family. Just as it takes time and support for LGBTQ children to understand and accept their identity, this is also true for parents. "I've told most of my family and friends that I'm gay (or lesbian, bi, or trans)."Teens feel secure enough in who they are and share that information with loved ones. It takes courage and strength for a young person to share who they are inside, especially for teens who are unsure of how their families will respond. They may be afraid of disappointing or angering their families, or in some instances may fear being physically harmed or thrown out of their homes. Again, parents usually need time to deal with the news. While it may take them days, weeks or many months to come to terms with their child's sexuality or gender identity, it is important for parents to show love and support for their child, even if they don't fully understand everything. Coming out to others can be a liberating experience, especially for those teens who are embraced by their communities and families. LGBTQ teens may feel free to speak openly about their feelings and possibly romantic relationships for the first time. For transgender and gender diverse teens, they may finally feel free to begin expressing themselves genuinely as the gender they feel inside. Parents and families can:
Remember…Even if you are having trouble understanding your child's identity or feelings, not withdrawing from your role as a parent is probably one of the most important ways to help a child continue to feel a sense of being cared for and accepted. Feeling loved has been shown to be critical to overall health and development of all children regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Many parents do need their own supports to help them understand and cope with their own difficult emotions and concerns during a child's "coming out." More information
Article Body The information contained on this Web site should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances. Why is it important for children to learn about LGBTQ?LGBTQ-inclusion and visibility benefits all students by promoting acceptance and respect, and teaching them more about the diverse people and families in the world. LGBTQ-inclusion supports a student's ability to empathize, connect, and collaborate with a diverse group of peers, and encourages respect for all.
Why is it important to be aware of LGBTQ?People around the world face violence and inequality—and sometimes torture, even execution—because of who they love, how they look, or who they are. Sexual orientation and gender identity are integral aspects of our selves and should never lead to discrimination or abuse.
How do children deal with LGBTQ?But it doesn't have to be.. Talk and listen. Start with something simple like “I love you.” Then, let your child talk to you about how they are feeling. Provide a place for open and honest conversation.. Offer support. You are the adult. ... . Be proactive. Look into online resources, peer groups and community support.. |