Why a guy turns away when he sees you

You have been seeing this cool guy and are confident that he likes you. But when you try to get close to him, he acts detached and cold, and the moment you try to give up, he acts interested again. If you wonder why guys act distant when they like you, reading this post can help you understand their intentions. Some men are hard to predict, and knowing their intentions can be difficult. Your gut feelings tell you that he likes you, but he is hesitant to admit it. It leaves you baffled and pushes you into a dilemma. In this post, we talk about why they act distant even when they like you and help you decode your man.

How To Be Sure That He Likes You?

Before we dive into the discussion about why he could be acting distant, let’s first be sure that he likes you. Here are some signs to help you know that he likes you more than a friend.

• Whenever he is around, you sense his eyes on you, but when you look at him, it appears he looks the other way.

• He remembers any important detail you have shared with him and even does something about it.

• You often spot him hovering around you. He may not stare at you, but coincidentally, he is where you are.

• He likes all your social media posts, even if it is a bad image of you eating junk food.

• No matter how busy he is, his reply to your text comes almost immediately, as if he was waiting for your message.

If the guy in question shows all of these signs, you might be right about his admiration for you.

Here are some reasons why guys might keep their distance from the girl they like.

1. He feels you are out of his league

One of the obvious reasons why a guy may ignore or act disinterested in you is because he feels you are too good for him. He lacks the confidence to approach you or share his feelings with you, fearing you might reject him. He feels that sharing his true feelings might ruin your friendship with him. Or he fears being in painful one-sided love, so he thinks it is better not to act upon his feelings and maintain distance from you to avoid getting hurt.

2. He feels you are probably seeing someone

You may be someone who always posts images with your guy friends on social media. If he has been noticing you online and offline, he probably believes you are already in a relationship. He cannot help looking at you from a distance because is interested in you. However, the fear of rejection is so intense that he might act like he doesn’t notice you.

3. He is probably not looking for a serious relationship

There may be several reasons why a guy doesn’t want to get into a committed relationship. He may not be financially stable, or he may have recently had a breakup – it could be any other reason for that matter. Whatever the reason, he is not looking for something serious, and thus, he does not approach you even if he likes you.

4. He is already in a committed relationship

It could be that this guy is probably already seeing someone and yet is also attracted to you. Talking to you or being around you makes his feelings stronger, which he knows is unfair to his relationship. To be loyal to his current partner, he prefers to act disinterested and cold; and perhaps more so to discourage himself from getting swayed by temptation.

5. He is a shy guy

Guys who are shy can be terrible at expressing their love for someone. They may like you, but their shy nature keeps them from approaching you. In fact, talking to you might even make them nervous. They might come across as really rude, but it is how they are around an interest.

6. He wants to keep his options open

Much as this guy seems smitten by you, perhaps he feels the same for a few other women. If that is the case, he may want to weigh his options and may not make a move as he does not want to commit to one woman yet. Perhaps he does not want to settle for one person and wants more time enjoying his non-committed status and flirting with as many women as he can.

7. He wants you to want him more

Some guys do not want to look desperate before the girl they like. This guy is probably playing hard-to-get so that his disinterest in you gets you even more interested in him. One day, he will shower you with loads of attention, and the next day, he will go completely silent – blowing hot and cold. His inconsistent behavior will drive you crazy and keep you interested in him.

8. He thinks you are moving too fast

Let’s suppose this guy showed interest in you and approached you first. Much to his surprise, you got friendly too quickly and even started initiating things for both of you. Your obsession with him probably scares him. He may like you, but perhaps he has not yet reached a point to take your relationship to the next level. Your enthusiasm could put him off and make him cold towards you.

9. He feels you are just not that into him

You like him and enjoy his attention. You do not want to lose his interest, so you act hard-to-get. But after trying to woo you for a while, he is probably tired and feels you are not interested in him. So, he gives up and starts acting distant because he sees no point in trying to impress someone who is not into him.

10. He has other stuff to take care of

Perhaps someone in his family is ill, and he needs to be with them, or he has an important project to work on and does not want to be distracted. There could be many reasons that could be keeping him from messaging you or talking to you. This may not mean he has lost interest in you. It is just that his mind is occupied, and he has other stuff to deal with.

11. He needs some time to be sure of his feelings

Sometimes, guys withdraw from a situation to be able to see it from a different perspective. By keeping a distance from you, he is trying to see the relationship differently and understand if he really wants to keep this going. Also, he may want to see how he feels away from you and know if he misses you enough to have you in his life.

What Should You Do?

If you ever find yourself in a situation where the guy who you thought liked you has suddenly become cold toward you, don’t lose heart. It is not that he hates you. He could probably be dealing with something you are not aware of. Stay calm and try the following suggestions.

1. Give him time

You are probably at the end of your tether and don’t know how to get him to talk to you. But remember not to plead with him or force him to talk to you under any circumstance. It is easier said than done, but there is no denying that it is the best thing you can do. He is probably considering the situation in his head and needs time. If you act needy and crave his attention, it might put him off. So, the best thing to do is to wait for him to come around you.

2. Try to understand him

You may feel betrayed and hurt because of the sudden change in his behavior, but do not feel annoyed. Instead, try to understand him. He is probably battling his own self, trying to be sure of his feelings for you. If he has distanced himself from you, he probably has a valid reason for it. Respect his decision and try to be as normal as possible.

3. Don’t cut all ties

His silence may get to you, but do not cut all ties yet. He may want to reach out to you eventually when he has worked through his feelings. Blocking him on social media or severing ties may change his mind. Message him occasionally if you want to, but do not coax him to talk to you, nor exhibit extreme behaviors such as manipulation or ultimatums.

4. Focus on yourself

There is no point in stressing over someone you may probably never end up with. Instead, focus on yourself and use your free time to pursue a hobby or an activity you are passionate about. Your mental peace and wellness are more important than any guy in the world. Remember always to prioritize your well-being in such a situation.

5. Move on

Maybe what you fear is true, and he has probably lost interest in you. You may feel angry and justifiably so. But do not hold that resentment in your heart as it will only hurt you more. Instead, try to forget and move on in life. Some people are meant to make only a limited appearance in your life, so let go and move on. Find happiness with yourself and in your own life as you will meet a prospective partner when the time is right.

You may be head over heels for this guy, and so, his radio silence could make you lose sleep. But it might be the universe’s way of pushing you away from the person not meant for you, and in a direction more suitable to your life path. You are supposed to be with an awesome guy, so stop fretting over him and make way for the ‘right’ one for you.

There can be various reasons why guys act distant when they like you. Checking you on social media, spotting him around you, his gazes, and his immediate response to your texts may indicate that he likes you. Sometimes men try to act distant due to fear of rejection. He may think he is not in your league, you are with someone, want to keep his options open, and want you to approach him are the common reasons for acting distant. Men who do not want a serious relationship or are already committed can act distinctly to women they like. You may give time and choose the right person for you instead of trying to make sense of his behavior.

Infographic: Questions To Ask Yourself To Determine Why He Is Acting Distant

Sometimes it might seem that he is distancing himself from you, but that might not be the case, and the reason for his aloofness could be more benign than you think. Perhaps it is his work, or he is absent-minded these days since he has been planning a new purchase for a long time. So don’t assume and ask these questions to yourself to be entirely sure.

Key Pointers

• When a boy sneakily glances at you or tries to be near you constantly, he may secretly like you.
• Commitment issues, uncertain feelings, or lack of confidence may keep him at a distance from you.
• Try putting yourself in his shoes to understand him and give him time to open up.

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Ratika has experience writing in various fields including finance, education, lifestyle, and entertainment. After her masters degree in Commerce, she acquired a PG Diploma in Communication and Journalism from Mumbai University. She is inquisitive about human relationships and likes to study people and how they manage their relationships, during her freetime. At MomJunction, Ratika writes insightful and informative articles on... more

Danielle Sheppard is a licensed clinician who helps individuals and couples realize and achieve their true potential. She recognizes that every person or couple is different in terms of goals, aspirations, and the pursuit of happiness, and that each journey is different. She has a passion for being witness to individuals as they see and express the strengths in themselves... more