What to say to someone who is sleeping?

There are many online resources focused on providing tips and advice for people experiencing insomnia, these without question provide valuable knowledge for insomnia sufferers and aim to help them to improve the quality of their sleep. However, there is very little information focused on offering guidance to family members, friends or in fact anyone who is involved in the life of an insomnia sufferer.

Just like the person actually suffering from insomnia, the condition can begin to have a major effect on the lives of those closest to them and it is not uncommon for these individuals to feel a little helpless at times. This article is focused on providing help and advice to those people who are trying to support someone with insomnia. 

The basics

In the UK around one third of people experience insomnia at some stage in their life (NHS). It is often believed that insomnia is simply a condition where a person cannot get to sleep however this isn’t always the case and a person could fall asleep effortlessly on an evening but be plagued by frequent awakenings over the course of the night and then find it difficult to fall back to sleep.

It is recommended by medical professionals that between seven to nine hours sleep per night is the optimum amount to feel refreshed and ready to take on a new day, although this varies from person to person. It is likely that your friend or relative is getting significantly less than this amount meaning they might feel a little down or irritable if the condition has persisted for a long stretch of time, their irritability may even affect your day-to-day life but it is important to remain positive. The following tips provide advice on what not to do when someone close to you is suffering from insomnia and what to do to try to improve their life and to help you to feel more proactive and useful.

What not to do

Insomnia is very different to occasionally having trouble sleeping on an evening. Although you may think you’re helping by saying “I couldn’t get to sleep last night either” this may only frustrate the sufferer as they may feel like you don’t understand what they’re going through at all. Chronic insomnia is not simply an annoyance; it is a medical disorder and should be thought of in this way.

Additionally, if you’re wondering why your friend or relative is experiencing insomnia as you believe their life to be relatively stress-free or even less stressful than your own life, it is important not to communicate these doubts, no one appreciates being told that their worries aren’t important and they may even have other things going on in their life which they are currently unwilling to talk about.

If you’ve never experienced insomnia before you may be tempted to just tell your friend or relative to relax or not to worry. For most insomniacs this isn’t possible and even the thought of going to bed can cause anxiety.

What to do

It is important to respect the severity of the sleep disorder and the symptoms that coincide with insomnia such as irritability, lack of concentration and generally feeling down and negative, it is not just simply feeling tired

Furthermore, it is imperative to talk to your friend or relative to discuss the reasons behind their insomnia, although occasionally there may be no specific reason behind their sleeping problems. If they’re willing to communicate their worries to you this may help them to improve the quality of their sleep.

If it is your partner that is suffering from insomnia and you snore or have contrasting sleep schedules, it may be a good idea to sleep apart to allow your partner to sleep undisturbed.

Additionally it is important to help take their mind off insomnia and suggesting activities such as socialising with friends or exercise can help them to escape insomnia for a few hours. However if insomnia begins to affect the day-to-day life of the person suffering with the sleep disorder, they should visit their GP who can provide further advice and guidance.   

It's a bit odd. I would have expected to hear "have a nice nap", as someone who's going to sleep at 1:00 pm is probably only going to sleep for an hour or two.

If you planned to sleep for seven or eight hours, starting at 1:00 p.m., that's longer than a nap. I guess in that case "sleep well" (or "rest well", or "sleep tight", if you prefer) would be more appropriate. "Sweet dreams" would technically work, but it's not usually used except with people you are very familiar with (children, romantic partners, family, etc.). You could also use "sleep well" at night — it's not restricted to napping or sleeping for long periods during the day.

Also, you can use "good night" for situations other than going to sleep. I often hear it used when people go their separate ways after spending some time at night together, they say "good night" as they are parting.

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