What should you not wear as a wedding guest?

Choosing what to wear to a wedding can be downright taxing, especially with as dress codes become more and more unclear. Whether an invitation calls for formal, cocktail, festive, or casual attire, wedding guests should remember a few universal style rules to prevent fashion mishaps. Here are six things you should simply never wear to a wedding, no matter what the dress code says.

Clothing outside of the dress code.

According to Julie Sabatino, a wedding fashion stylist at The Stylish Bride, "You show up to the wedding to honor the couple. Your appearance should reflect that." Make sure your ensemble is respectful and appropriate for the event. Take the extra effort to ensure you understand what you should and shouldn't wear to a particular ceremony. You don't want to be the girl in a long ball gown while everyone else sports a cocktail dress. If you can't figure out exactly what "beachy chic" or "festive casual" entails, reach out to a bridesmaid (not the bride) for help.

Anything loud and flashy.

One of the biggest rules of dressing for a wedding is to never outshine the bride and groom. Avoid sequined ball gowns, sparkly tiaras, sky-high platform heels, or other articles of clothing that will draw attention away from the bride. A wedding isn't the proper time to make a bold fashion statement.

A white dress.

Unless you're the bride, wearing a white dress to a wedding is traditionally a faux pas. Leave all white, ivory, and champagne-hued shades alone, unless the invitation specifically requests that guests wear white. The bride deserves to stand out in her gown, and you don't want to upset her or other guests by wearing anything bridal-esque. Along those lines, Sabatino suggests finding out the color of the bridesmaids dresses and avoid wearing a similar shade, so you aren't mistaken for a member of the bridal party.

Your everyday jeans and sneakers.

It doesn't matter if the dress code requests "casual" attire; jeans, T-Shirts, shorts, and sneakers are never appropriate to wear as a wedding guest. Show respect for the bride and groom by dressing formally. Sabatino suggests that men show up in a jacket and tie, even when the invitation says casual. "That is honoring the occasion in my mind," she says.

Skip skimpy pieces.

"Never wear something with a lot of exposed skin," says Sabatino. Crop tops, dresses with mesh on the sides, short skirts, plunging necklines, and form-fitting gowns are more appropriate for a nightclub than a wedding. A skimpy outfit will attract negative attention from other guests and take attention away from the bride.

Your most uncomfortable shoes.

"Think about what's appropriate for the setting and the venue," suggests Sabatino. If the wedding will take place on a natural landscape, consider ditching the heels for a pair of cute flats. There's no need to be in struggling with stiletto heels in grass all night, or go home early because of painful and insensible footwear.

If you're at a complete loss for an outfit, Sabatino suggests sticking with a long or short black dress. Find a piece with flattering cut, and dress it up for the occasion. "There's a way to make a black dress look good in the Hamptons, and a way to make it look good in a ballroom in NYC," says Sabatino.

No matter what type of wedding you attend, there is always a set of etiquette and dress code rules that accompany it. Whether it's a black-tie, semi-formal, or casual wedding, these rules are in place to guide you in your outfit selections, and most importantly, to keep the couple happy and satisfied on their big day.

According to etiquette expert Lisa Grotts, there's not much a couple can do about what guests wear to their wedding other than state the dress code on the invitation. “If the guests and couple are close friends, they will respect the dress code. However, I have been to more than one wedding where guests were dressed in outrageous outfits or mimicked the bride,” she says. Couples will (and should) provide the guests with clear expectations on their dress code. The invitation will state the venue and how formal the dress code is.

What should you not wear to a wedding? “Rather than saying what not to wear, I like to remember what the day is about. It’s about celebrating the couple and their love, so I would avoid wearing anything that could distract from their special day,” BHLDN senior stylist Lindsey Love says.

Ahead, see wedding guest attire etiquette to help guide you in what you should avoid wearing to a wedding.

Don’t Match The Bridal Party

As a guest, you don’t want to blend in with the wedding party (or even mimic it). Try to get intel ahead of time about what shades and colors the bridal party and the groomsmen will be wearing. From there, select an outfit that blends nicely with the tones or something completely opposite but not too loud. 

Also, “look at the invitation because it’s the first source of information for what colors you should or shouldn't wear to a wedding,” etiquette expert Elaine Swann says. “The invitation will contain the color scheme for the wedding,” she adds. Throughout the invitation, there will be a color scheme, and these shades are typically the tones used in the wedding decor and bridal party. So, if you notice a repetitive royal blue or fern green, it’s safe to say those are what the wedding party will wear. So choose colors that aren’t too close to them.

And, if you’re wondering about a classic black dress, it’s a safe and acceptable choice. Although black might indicate sadness, Swann notes that it’s the appropriate attire for a formal black-tie wedding and cocktail attire.

Avoid Attire That Is Too Revealing

It’s one thing to select an outfit that makes you feel confident, empowered, and adds a touch of sexiness. However, showing up in something too exposed could offend other guests (and children) attending the wedding. Keep your selections mostly modest with little hints and playfulness of sexiness through slits, mesh, and open-back dresses. “You’ll want to consider the wedding’s dress code for guidance on how formal or casual your selection should be. From there, choose something that will make you look and feel your best,” Love notes. A wedding isn’t a chance to show off your body. Instead, “remember that a wedding is a sacred ceremony and reflect that in your outfit selection,” Swann says.

Steer Clear of Anything Too Casual

We get it, especially after spending most of the past year at home. No one wants to quit their coziest clothing like yoga pants, slippers, and jeans. But these have no place at a wedding. Even if a wedding is casual and relaxed, still dress with respect. No flip, flops, shorts, or jeans should be on your list of options to wear. Instead, ladies find a casual dress, and men wear a nice pair of this with a relaxed shirt. 

Keep those shirttails tucked in, and wear a belt regardless of how casual the wedding is.

When In Doubt, Just Ask

After you’ve deciphered the invitation and investigated the wedding website, stalked the venue on their website and all social media channels, and you still don’t know what to wear or to steer clear of, ask. “You can talk to the bride about what she would like people to wear, or connect with one of the attendees to help—that’s what they’re there,” Swann says.

There is that rare occasion where the language on both the invitation and wedding website is vague and unclear with the dress code. When this happens, it leaves you guessing what to wear. This is why the type of wedding: Formal, semi-formal, or casual, should be discussed. Just check in to be safe!

Wedding Guest Ideas For Each Wedding Dress Code

Grotts outlines ideas for each wedding dress code below. When all else fails, take inspiration for this list.

• Beach Wedding: A sundress and Bermuda shorts with a linen shirt is appropriate.
• Casual Wedding: Flowy dresses with a nice pair of low heels or sandals and khakis with a sports jacket are best.
• Semi-Formal Wedding: A maxi dress and dark suit are nice, comfortable options.
• Formal Wedding: A long dress that makes a statement and a tuxedo, without exception.

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