Theodore "Ted" Spankoffski is a reoccurring character in Team StarKid's Hatchetfield Universe. He serves as the tritagonist-turned-antagonist of The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals, and a major antagonist in the web series Nightmare Time. He is a cocky and perverted jerk of Hatchetfield who frequently comes into conflict with the town. He was portrayed by Joey Richter. BiographyAs TedThe Guy Who Didn't Like MusicalsTed first appears in The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals as a performer in the titular number. Ted harasses Paul as he try to make his way to Beanies knowing that he was attracted to the barista working there. Visibly uncomfortable, Paul escapes, leaving Ted to shout that he wants a chai iced tea, to no avail. That night Ted is shown having one of his affairs with his co-worker Charlotte. The next day, Ted is having a break with his co-workers when Paul arrives and explains how he just saw everyone singing and dancing in the street. Ted suggests that it was a flash mob, and is highly disappointed in Paul when he admits that he didn't get a video of it. Ted later startles Paul and Emma Perkins by jumping out of the trashcan in the alley he was hiding in. He tells Paul to hide and the trash can and Emma can beat it. Paul tries to explain that he knows Emma as Latte Hottay, but Ted angrily informs him that she is not the one he was talking about. Suddenly, the police arrived with Officer Sam, Charlotte's husband who she called and they break into song and dance. Ted tries to escape but the police don't let him so Ted grabs one of the trash can lids in order to protect himself and hits Sam over the head with it, exposing his blue brain. The police run away and Charlotte freaks out at her unconscious husband. Emma suggests them to her professor house, Professor Hidgens to hide. They enter Professor Henry Hidgens's bunker while dragging Sam in with Bill’s help and puts him on a chair and secures Sam in the chair. Ted tries to seduce Charlotte but she gets mad at him since the world could be ending. In a moment of passion, Ted reveals that if he's going to die, he's going to go out doing the thing he loves: screwing around with another man's wife. Ted explains that her husband is a scumbag, and that she could upgrade to a sleazeball (himself), but she refuses to be happy. He then tells her that he's done and that she can stay with her dying marriage and her dying husband as he's going to hit on "that crabby barista" (Emma), and leaves, giving her the keys to Sam's cuffs. Ted is next seen with the others, holding a large bottle of some form of alcohol and quite clearly at least tipsy. He scoffs at Bill's desire to have a Shirley Temple, seeing as it's the end of the world, but Bill reminds him that they should have a designated driver if it really is the apocalypse. Ted mocks this thought, and so Bill threatens that he's going to kick Ted's head. Ted mocks him recently about this but is slapped on the hand by Bill. Charlotte and Sam make their entrance as musical zombies where Ted is punched, squeezed, crushed, "killed", ridden, dragged, wound up, and kicked in the nuts by the couple. However, he is saved by Hidgens, who shoots both Sam and the Charle-ton. Bill starts making plans to pick up his daughter Alice at the infested high school but Ted is scornful of Bill's idea, saying that Alice is already dead, and if Bill goes he's going to die too. Ted awakes tied to a chair with Emma after being drugged by Hidgens. He starts begging for his life and shares Emma's exclamations of horror and distress when Hidgens reveals that he is going to have them all die. Hidgens starts singing and dancing to his fright but as the song progresses, he gets into it and becomes emotional. However, when he sees Hidgens get swept away by the infected some musical zombies Ted freaks out till Paul saves them. The trio runs away to catch the escape helicopter in time, but Ted stops them all in order to make a speech until a zombie drags Paul away. Ted immediately takes Paul's gun and starts to flee. Emma tries to get him to help, but Ted doesn’t, and he continues fleeing leaving the other two behind to die. Ted spots what he thinks is the military, but is actually an infected P.E.I.P. squadron, and starts celebrating. He lies and says that he's the only person left alive and is shot in the upper body by the infected General John McNamara. They start singing and the general raises his glowing blue hand to Ted's face and infects him. Although Ted tries to fight it, he quickly becomes one with the Hive, joining both the ranks of the other soldiers and the singing. The infected Ted tries to capture Emma, but she wrestles out of his grasp and takes his gun, which she uses to shoot General McNamara and save Paul, after which Ted marches away. When Paul reaches the Starlight Theater to try to blow up the meteor, Ted enters the stage after Bill, warning Paul to watch out, as he might kick his head and sings to entice Paul to join the Hive, but Paul still manages to blow up the meteor. In vain because Paul gets infected so a few days later he, Paul and the cast to the Clivesdale hospital to kill Emma then succeeds, to infect the world. Nightmare TimeThe Hatchetfield Ape-ManTed poses as the fabled Hatchetfield Ape-Man (Konk), (nude and with a boner) in order to get Duchess Lucy Stockworth (who has been searching for the Ape-Man after being rescued by him) to marry him, so he and his accomplice, Professor Hidgens, can obtain her fortune. However, after spending time with her, Ted begins to genuinely fall in love with Lucy, and tries to protect her after learning about Professor Hidgens plans to kill her. When Professor Hidgens attempts to shoot Lucy, Ted steps in the way of the bullet, and gets shot instead. After getting away from Hidgens, Ted, with dying breath, tells Lucy that he loves her. Lucy reciprocates these feelings and Ted dies in her arms. Time BastardTed initially appears at Paul and Emma's wedding reception where he attempts to flirt with a range of women including Emma, Charlotte and Silvia all who reject his advances. Ultimately Ted ends up sitting at the bar with Professor Hidgens. The two discuss their failed romantic life with Ted telling Hidgens about Jenny and how he lost her. After drinking himself into a stupor Ted awakens to find himself not at Emma and Paul's wedding but his own where he is married to Jenny. Jenny and Ted dance before sitting down. Jenny gives Ted a gift which he opens revealing the bastards box. The scene around Ted fades and he comes face to face with Tinky. Ted wakes up to find himself once again at Emma and Paul's wedding where Paul asks him to leave and slides his weekly reports under Mr. Davidson's door which Ted agrees to. Once back at the CCRP office Ted is unable to find Paul's reports and so goes to his own office to print them off remarking that the printer will take 85 years. Ted falls asleep while waiting for it. He then wakes up in the year 2104 where he unknowingly attends a Monday meeting in the future. In the meeting Ted discovers the plans for an android made in the likeness of Emma Perkins. Ted is then discovered to not be from that reality and is brought to a holding cell where he comes face to face with Executive Andrew Kilgore. Kilgore wants to harvest Ted's genetic material for research into time travel but he ultimately escapes. In the chaos of Ted's escape Kilgore is killed using a disintegrator and Ted puts it into his pocket for future use. Upon realising he is able to travel in time Ted uses his office time travel ability to travel back to October 17th 2004 to attempt to save his relationship with Jenny. Ted knocks his younger self out before attacking a younger Andy Kilgore with a crowbar and going to meet Jenny. Jenny is shocked by Ted's new behaviour and pushes him away accidentally activating the disintegrator. Jenny dies in Ted's arms and the man goes to attempt to reverse her death but finds he can't travel back in time as the temporal rift he used previously doesn't exist in 2004. Tinky appears and mocks Ted. The man looks inside the bastards box and his mind is shattered. After being thrown out of the Hatchetfield Gazettes office Ted becomes the Homeless Man. As The Homeless ManThe Guy Who Didn't Like MusicalsThe Homeless Man appears briefly in The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals. He is first shown during Paul's argument with Greenpeace Girl where he asks for spare change and Paul declines. He then later appears as a member of the hive singing. Black FridayThe Homeless Man first appears in Black Friday as one of the people in the queue waiting to get into Toy Zone. He joins in the people singing about Tom and Becky's past relationship in What Do You Say. Once the doors are open the Homeless Man like many others attempts to bid for a Wiggly doll offering three dollars in exchange for a doll. He appears in Feast or Famine during the ensuing riots over the doll. The Homeless Man is later shown to be a part of Linda Monroe's doll cult. During Adore Me the Homeless Man is shown to kiss Linda's toe. Following Linda's death the Homeless Man dies in the fire Lex creates by burning the doll. Nightmare TimeTime BastardAfter being removed from the Hatchetfield Gazettes office the Homeless Man finds a hat and coat in the dumpster and puts them on. He spends the next fifteen years alone on the street begging for change. Upon realising that Paul and Android Emma Perkins are together the Homeless Man breaks into their wedding yelling that Emma isn't actually Emma. He is then removed from the wedding. A week passes when Ted is visited by Tinky who mocks him. He then comes out of his dream to come face to face with Android Emma and Paul 23. The Homeless Man is stabbed and dies leaving Ted to be trapped in the bastards box forever. Quotes
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Is the guy who didn't like musicals Broadway?The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals is a horror comedy musical with music and lyrics by Jeff Blim and a book by Matt and Nick Lang. The show acted as the first instalment in StarKid's Hatchetfield Series. Loosely inspired by Invasion of the Body Snatchers, it is the 11th stage show produced by StarKid Productions.
Who plays Bill in the guy who didn't like musicals?He features in The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals, Black Friday, Watcher World, Forever and Always, Time Bastard and Hey, Melissa!. He is the father of Alice Woodward, though she currently lives in Clivesdale, only visiting her dad for one week a month. Bill is played by Corey Dorris.
What is the plot of the guy who didn't like musicals?Everything in Hatchetfield seemed normal until people began singing... Then, they began dancing... And now, a musical pandemic is sweeping the entire city. It's up to Paul (an average guy who doesn't like musicals) and his friends to stop this musical apocalypse and fight for humanity's future.
Who played professor higgins in the guy Who didn t like musicals?He is a biology professor at Hatchetfield College and is one of the professors of Emma Perkins. He appears in The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals, The Hatchetfield Ape-Man, Forever and Always, Time Bastard, and Honey Queen and is played by Robert Manion and Nick Lang. Hidgens will appear in the Workin' Boys short film.
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