Funny things to ponder about life

Here are the 66 random things to ponder about…

1. Sweet meets are candy, but sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
2. Quicksand works slowly.
3. Boxing rings are square.
   
4. Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars, and he’ll believe you.  Tell him a bench has wet paint, and he has to touch it.
5. Why is it that a writer writes, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, humdingers don’t hum, and hammers don’t ham?
6. If you can make amends, can you just make one amend?
7. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and you get rid of all but just one, what do you call it?
8. Why do you recite at a play but you play at a recital?
9. How can a SLIM CHANCE and a FAT CHANCE be the same, while a WISE MAN and a WISE GUY are opposites?
10. Why do we ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
11. Why do feet smell and noses run?
12. If it was only a 3-hour cruise, why did MRS. HOWELL have so many clothes?
13. Why is QUITE A FEW the same as QUITE A LOT?
14. How does a building burn up as it burns down?
    
15. Why do you fill out a form by filling it in?
16. Why does your alarm go off by going on?
    

    The answers to those questions are…

17. When the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible.
18. How come SUPERMAN could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
19. Why is it called a HAMBURGER, when it’s made out of BEEF?
20. Why does SOUR CREAM have an expiration date?
21. What would a chair look like, if your knees bent the other way?
22. IF “Con” is the Opposite of “Pro”, then what is the opposite of PROGRESS?
23. Why is LEMON JUICE mostly artificial ingredients, but DISHWASHING LIQUID contains real lemons?
24. How much deeper would the ocean be, if SPONGES didn’t grow in it?
    
25. Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
26. Why do we wait until a PIG is dead, to “CURE” it?
27. Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4’s”?
28. Why do we wash BATH TOWELS – aren’t we clean when we use them?
29. Why do we put SUITS in a Garment Bag, and put Garments in a Suitcase?
30. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
31. Why doesn’t GLUE stick to the inside of the bottle?
32. Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have an “S” in it?
33. What do little birdies see, when they get knocked unconscious?

You are halfway done! Here are 33 more things to ponder!

Related Post:  Check out more about stuff to ponder.

1. Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
2. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
3. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
4. Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
5. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
6. Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway?
7. Where do homeless people have 90% of their accidents?
8. If you drove your car at the speed of light, and you turned your headlights on, would they work?
9. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
10. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
11. If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
12. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
13. How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
    
14. Why isn’t the word ‘phonetic’ spelled the way it sounds?
15. Do you know that little indestructible black box on airplanes?  Why don’t they make the whole plane out of the same material?
    

    We are wondering the same thing…

16. If Krystal’s is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, why is there a lock on the door?
17. When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
18. What do you call a defective Milk Dud?
19. If it’s tourist season, why can’t we shoot them?
20. Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
21. Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
22. If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
23. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
    
24. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
25. If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
    

    Hmmm… We are also wondering what are the answers to all those questions…

26. Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
27. Why are they called apartments, when they’re all stuck together?
28. Do fish get cramps after eating?
29. Why are there 5 syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?
30. Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
31. If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
32. Isn’t Disneyland a people trap operated by a mouse?
33. What is the speed of dark?

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