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· 1,976 ratings · 307 reviews
Start your review of Life is Messy
I received this book unsolicited in the mail. I have no idea from whence The Encore Foundation purchased my address, but they should have saved their money. My name and address were correct on the slip, but the note just inches below that said, “Meishiaw, I hope you enjoy reading this book!” Unfortunately, perhaps because my name is not Meishiaw, I did not enjoy life is messy. life is messy consists of poorly written reflections,
retold and reprinted stories from pop culture and better books, and life is messy consists of poorly written reflections, retold and reprinted stories from pop culture and better books, and some absolutely wild statements like these: “Yes, I have worked hard. I have worked hard to improve my writing….I’ve worked hard but I have also been fortunate….If I had been born in the Sudan, I would have lived a very different life. If my parents were Chinese, I never would have been born. My mother would have been forced to have an abortion under
their single child policy.” (78-79) Yes, humble-brags are shoved right next to a slight at less financially prosperous country (Kelly was born in Australia, but has evidently spent much time in the USA) and a gross misunderstanding of Chinese history. The one-child policy only applied to certain families, typically urban families of Han descent. The policy was enacted in 1980*, seven years after Kelly was born in Australia. While abortions were enforced in some cases, forced contraception,
forced sterilization, and fines were also used. Given that Kelly is the fourth of eight boys (according to his Wikipedia page), it’s likely that, if he would have been born in an urban Han Chinese family seven years after his actual birth in Australia, the government would have curbed his parents’ reproduction before getting to boy #4. Kelly moans that he would have been aborted, but if his weird alternative time-hopping reality were true, he likely would not have been conceived. While I
don’t disagree with, or even dislike, everything Kelly says in here, all of it is told through a self-centered, but not constructively reflective, lens. One might think of memoirs as self-centered, but a good memoir is focused on telling the story to the audience, so the focus is on the storytelling and not self-lauding of the writer. life is messy pits the author against the reader amidst the platitudes. “You have suffered at the hands of gossips. I have too. I have been
murdered a thousand times by gossip. It’s an occupational hazard for anyone whose work puts them under public scrutiny, but that doesn’t make it easier.” (43) Oh, the trials of fame! Doesn’t that have the twang of your annoying “friend” who tries to one-up your every sorrow? And the whole book is full of these weirdly self-centered comments. He tells a story of encountering an enthusiastic fan in which the fan says, “Every day I email all my clients a question from one of your books.” (85) I
mean…even if this did really happen, telling the story comes across as narcissistic. I’m sure it was personally validating for Kelly, but I couldn’t help thinking of those poor clients’ inboxes…
The book has no chapters, but the table of contents directs the reader to its many headings that open sections lasting a few pages. The final section, “The good life,” could have been written in any old self-help book. Have I mentioned yet that Kelly is known as a Catholic motivational speaker and author of Dynamic Catholicism? Because there’s precious little Christianity here. Moralism, yes. Your average self-help bromides that would fit on an inspirational poster, yes. But Catholicism, that ancient faith that has grown and spread for millennia? Not really. “The good life” mentions Aristotle, but not God. It promises, “If you wish to live the good life, fill your life with goodness. Fill your life with love, kindness, gratitude, compassion, and generosity.” (152) In a Christian book, I’d expect to hear about God as the source of goodness, the Holy Spirit as the one filling us with goodness (it is one of the Spirit’s fruits, after all), and Jesus Christ as the model of goodness.
If Matthew Kelly is a major influence on your life, and this book means a lot to you, I have no problem with that. I hope you purchased it yourself or got a copy from a library or friend. The last time I got an unsolicited book in the mail was Ellen G. White’s The Great Controversy, which had the benefit of being mass-mailed to everyone in my neighborhood and thus was not addressed to “Meishiaw.” Yet, I gave Matthew Kelly a chance because he was trying to get a good word out there, rather than trying to convince me via plagiarism that Jesus and Satan are locked in an arm-wrestling match. (Yes, White herself admitted to plagiarism.)
However, I find it a wasteful, destructive practice to mail unsolicited physical copies of books to people. One exception is sending titles to professional book reviewers. Send ebooks, if you must, since emails are a lot easier to buy en masse anyway. And it’s cheaper than printing and mailing hard copies. life is messy is marked “not for resale, promo only,” which only means that I cannot sell copies of the book, but ownership of this physical copy has transferred to me and I can resell this particular book. I’m tossing this in my box of books headed to my local used bookstore, but I hate to burden them with a book that is so low-value as to be sent for free to people who don’t want it. Pearls before swine much? (I’m the swine here. Oink.) I hope some lovely person will pick up this copy one day and get something out of it, because the waste of paper and shipping in sending this to me is placing a burden on me that I didn’t ask to carry.
Plenty of folks on Goodreads note on their profiles that they don’t want authors contacting them for reviews; this feels like that same self-promotion that rubs readers the wrong way, and unfortunately turns me off to Matthew Kelly as a whole. It sounds like he has a large platform already in his expansive career as a speaker, writer, and coach. Trying to grasp more people into his audience smacks of narcissism, and the self-centered writing in this book doesn’t change that taste. (Nor does his claim to have invented the concept of “the best version of yourself.” I hate that concept, as if there are a bunch of different versions of me like Windows OS.) It’s one thing to offer something for free to people by giving them a real chance to accept or refuse, like sending a link to a free ebook, or hosting a free event. It’s another thing to force an object upon a person and hint that if they don’t like it, it’s not “the right book at the right time.” (back cover) By sending me a free copy of this book, without my prior knowledge or consent, The Encore Group is explicitly soliciting my thoughts on it, and thus here is my review with considerably more time and effort poured into it than the decision to send life is messy to “Meishiaw” at my address.
*China’s one-child policy eventually expanded to two and then three children, and was lifted for good in July 2021. However, the attitude toward fertility and reproduction in China has changed, and it’s unlikely China can quickly fix the underpopulation problem they caused by trying to fix overpopulation.
Not marking this book as part of my 2021 list because it doesn’t deserve to be there. Each book on that list is chosen by me, and this was forced upon me.
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Sep 07, 2021 Amanda Lauer rated it it was amazing
In general, I like Matthew Kelly's writing but sometimes I feel like some of his books were churned out just so parishes had something to give away to their parishioners at Christmastime. I was a bit skeptical when I started reading Life is Messy, especially since Kelly comes right out and says this book is bits and pieces of things written in his journal during three very trying years in his life. It took a little bit to get into the book because he kept hinting at all the things he'd gone thro In general, I like Matthew Kelly's writing but sometimes I feel like some of his books were churned out just so parishes had something to give away to their parishioners at Christmastime. I was a bit skeptical when I started reading Life is Messy, especially since Kelly comes right out and says this book is bits and pieces of things written in his journal during three very trying years in his life. It took a little bit to get into the book because he kept hinting at all the things he'd gone through but never coming right out and saying what they were (except for three bouts of cancer that he mentioned eventually). That being said, by page 50 I was hooked and couldn't put the book down. I got out a pen and started highlighting and I didn't stop until the last page of the book. There are so many wonderful gems of wisdom in here, it's one of those books that you want to tell everyone to read, particularly passages that apply to them (which may be a reflection of me, I realize). If you could only read one Matthew Kelly book, Life is Messy is the one I'd recommend. It's a keeper, I'll have this close at hand to reference through the years. ...more
Nov 20, 2021 Jen rated it did not like it
How did this man get my address? This book showed up in my mailbox,
addressed to the previous owner (not a recent sale either). I did not ask for this book. I have never heard of this man. I am not even Catholic. I leafed through it anyway. It’s mine now, I guess. It features: a list of bad things that could happen to you, two middle-aged white men declaring themselves amazing fathers, the word “evil” used unironically, and a command from a jet-hopping multi-hyphenate to “live simply.” This is why This book showed up in my mailbox, addressed to the previous owner (not a recent sale either). I did not ask for this book. I have never heard of this man. I am not even Catholic. I leafed through it anyway. It’s mine now, I guess. It features: a list of bad things that could happen to you, two middle-aged white men declaring themselves amazing fathers, the word “evil” used unironically, and a command from a
jet-hopping multi-hyphenate to “live simply.” This is why self-publishing has a bad rap.
Wow! I have read many books and listened to several talks from Matthew Kelly over the years. And this is the most raw, open, transparent, and likely important work of his to date! Over the last
7 years I have read books by Matthew Kelly 30 times, and that does not count some of his children’s books that have been read many times over. I am always excited when a new volume from Matthew is coming out, and eagerly await its release. This is one of those books that every Catholic, every Christian, a Wow! I have read many books and listened to several talks from Matthew Kelly over the years. And this is the most raw, open, transparent, and
likely important work of his to date! Over the last 7 years I have read books by Matthew Kelly 30 times, and that does not count some of his children’s books that have been read many times over. I am always excited when a new volume from Matthew is coming out, and eagerly await its release. This is one of those books that every Catholic, every Christian, any person could benefit from reading. It is an excellent read, and as soon as I finished it, I put but in my 'to be read pile'. And the next
day using adaptive technology I listened to it a second time with my 13 year old son. It will be a book I know I will return to again. But that does not mean it is an easy read. This is a book we will need to think about, reflect on, and work to process in our own lives. Matthew shares deeply about his own hurts, betrayals, fears, and depression. He does so without naming names or circumstances but at times the read is incredibly raw and visceral. But it is so worth the read. The description
of this volume is: “Life is messy. The chapters in this book are: The human dilemma. In some ways this book is very different than anything else from Kelly that I have read. It has far more emotion. You can almost feel his pain and ache at times in the book. I believe we see far more of Kelly in this work. But in other ways it is a continuation of his other works, both his business books and his Catholic books. But the rawness of
this book will make it hard for some readers, and others will appreciate and benefit from that same feature. The third section in this work called “Inadequate” begins with these words:
It isn't a color-within-the-lines exercise.
It's a wild and outrageous invitation
full of uncertain outcomes.
The mess of life is both inevitable and unexpected.
It is filled with delightful mysteries
and frustrating predicaments.
In our disposable culture,
we throw broken things away.
So, what will we do with broken people,
broken relationships, broken institutions, broken families,
and of course, our very own broken
selves?
We are all broken and wounded.
This book is about putting our lives back together,
and allowing ourselves to be put back together,
when life doesn't turn out as we expected it to.
Based on his own heart-wrenching personal journals,
Matthew Kelly shares how the worst three years of his life
affected him, by exploring this question:
Can someone who has been broken be healed
and become more beautiful and more lovable
than ever before?
The answer will fill
you with hope.
There has never been a more urgent need
for us to attend to what is happening within us.
This is quite simply
the right book at the right time.”
A more beautiful question.
Inadequate.
The worst year of my life.
What did I do wrong?
Unexpected.
When your reality becomes a nightmare.
Will the hurt ever stop?
Feelings.
Wait it out.
When nothing makes sense.
Dante's truth.
The
dark night of the soul.
Emptiness.
Why is life so messy?
Have that conversation.
When evil comes to visit.
Life can change in a single moment.
Slow down.
The normalization of evil.
Dehumanization.
Closer than you think.
If I had a dollar for every time . . .
The great rehumanization.
Ambassadors of hope.
Thoughtless, careless, and reckless.
Mercy.
Future turmoil.
Life is difficult.
Turning to comfort.
Inspiration.
Cherish the
ordinary.
Just for the joy of it.
Everyone is fighting a hard battle.
Beautiful kindness.
Roses and people.
Mourning the life that could have been.
The past.
Luck is a factor.
Getting unstuck.
Amazing.
A new path.
The mystery of you.
The forgotten obligation.
An intimate question.
Take an inventory.
Illusions and reality.
The most important conversation.
The way forward.
Move toward the light.
One choice at a time.
Three good reasons to
do anything.
The four absolutes.
A personal philosophy.
The wisdom of simplicity.
How does life get so complicated?
Learn to say no.
The main threat to your wholeness.
A spiritual experience.
Three appointments.
Speak up.
A bad bargain.
Forgiveness.
Change something.
When change seems too daunting.
The basics.
Gently down the stream.
Becoming real.
Run toward yourself.
The guy in the glass.
Character is destiny.
Alignment
issues.
Measuring your life.
Remember.
Peace, serenity, and tranquility.
The central question.
The mountaintop.
The good life.
“These pages were born out of three years of excruciating suffering. There are no words for what I experienced. Even words dripping with meaning leave so much unsaid. But words are all I have. They are my craft. I am a wordsmith, a smithy of words, and so, I have done the best I know how.
The easiest thing would have been not to write about this period of my life. I was tempted to set aside the journals that much of this content was drawn from and never revisit them. But they kept calling to me, so it is my hope that this whole mess will serve you in some way that is unknowable to me.”
That contributes to the rawness in the text, but also the extreme realness! Further on in the same chapter he states:
“This isn’t like other books I have written. It’s messy. I haven’t tried to smooth out the rough edges. It doesn’t start and end neatly. There are no chapters or parts. Each section is unto itself. I wrote them for myself, at different times in different places, never expecting that anyone else would read them. You will be able to tell which parts were written during my times of trauma, which were written to help me move forward, and which are reflecting on those times in my life. I have made no effort to hide that. Though I have tried to organize them loosely into a journey for you, and I have adjusted the original journal language in most parts to address the reader. Some of the transitions from one section to the next are rough. In my journals, those rough transitions wake me up and force me to pay attention when I re-read them, so I have decided to keep them.”
Matthew shares that each year between Thanksgiving (Late November for Americans) and Christmas he would work through some exercises to look back over the last year and look ahead to the next. He says:
“For decades I had an extraordinary run—magical, really. One year had been better than the other, and the next year better than that. The answer to the question year after year was a resounding YES! Until a few years ago, when the answer was NO! I didn’t have to think about it. It was clear. It wasn’t even close. The answer was unequivocally no. This was unchartered territory. It was the first time in my life this had happened. It wasn’t just that the past year had failed to outshine the year prior. It had been the worst year of my life.”
And then it happened again, and again, and again. And in part this book grew out of those dry years. HE also shares about have three unrelated cases of cancer. He went through the ringer physically, emotionally and spiritually. And yet he kept putting one foot in front of the other. That in part is the witness of this book. It is a witness to heart, to courage, to change, and to living the best version of yourself. Matthew says:
“But nobody gave me cancer. It just happened. It was just part of life. There was nobody to blame, no one to harbor anger and resentment toward. That makes it easier.
It’s when a person intentionally hurts you, changes your life in an instant, that you face the darkest parts of yourself. It’s when a group of people decide to harm you, collectively or one at a time, that your faith in humanity is tested.”
And tested he was, and tested we will be. The section of the book that is very moving and motivational at the same time is when Kelly expounds on the Japanese art form of Kintsugi. Matthew tells us that:
“The Japanese have a beautiful artform called Kintsugi. It is a form of ceramics, and I have been meditating on it for the past several years. In our disposable culture, if we break a vase or a bowl, we throw it away and buy a new one. This simple act allows us to maintain the illusion that life is not messy. It plays into our delusion of perfection. But life is messy, perfect is a myth, and the wisdom of the Japanese art of Kintsugi has much to teach us.
When a vase or bowl or cup is broken, artists gather up the broken pieces and glue them back together. Though it is how they put them back together that is steeped in wisdom and beauty. They mix gold dust with the glue. They don’t try to hide the cracks. They own them, honor them, even accentuate them by making them golden. They celebrate the cracks as part of their story.
This is a beautiful lesson. They don’t pretend the vase was never broken. They don’t pretend that life is not messy. They don’t pretend they are not broken. When we pretend to be someone other than who we are, our true self hides in fear and shame; the fear of being discovered and the shame of not being enough.”
And one of the lessons Kelly took from this is that:
“The most beautiful and surprising lesson the Kintsugi artform teaches us is this: We are each other’s wounded healers. We each possess the gold dust needed to glue other people back together, making them more beautiful and loveable than ever. Our love, connection, acceptance, generosity, community, and kindness are that gold dust. This is astoundingly profound.”
He also states early in the book:
“Someone who has been broken and healed can be more beautiful, and more loved, than ever before. Embracing this truth is liberating. But it is easier to do once we realize it’s okay to be broken. It’s normal, in fact— part of the human condition. Once we embrace this truth, we are on the path of hope. When we reject it, we are on the road to despair.”
And at the end of the book he says:
“There is no secret to the good life. It isn’t a mystery. No exceptional talent is required. It isn’t only for the rich and famous. It is available to everyone, everywhere, at all times.
What is the essential ingredient of the good life? Goodness itself. The secret to the so-called good life has always been right before our very eyes. If you wish to live the good life, fill your life with goodness. Fill your life with love, kindness, gratitude, compassion, and generosity.
Take risks with your goodness. Test the limits of your goodness. Don’t just love, astonish people with your love. Don’t just dabble in generosity, live a life of staggering generosity.
How would your life change if your only goal was to do as much good as possible? Let’s find out. Don’t let this question remain unanswered. Celebrate goodness every chance you get.”
Don’t waste your change do the good, be the good. Become the best version of yourself. I know some people who have no use for Matthew Kelly’s books, and even others who think they are trite and even worse. I have even had readers ask me with all I read and review why I would pick up and read Kelly’s books. My answer is always twofold; first I have benefited from everything of his I have read or listened to. Second his books meet people where they are. We are not all theologians or academics. This book can be read by anyone and I believe they would benefit from it. But Christians and Catholics because of our world views can take it to a deeper level.
I want to conclude with two points, first circling back to my son who was mentioned at the beginning of the review. He has been through much in his 13 years, much more than I have in my 50. He has been bullied at school, taunted teased, threatened, and physically harmed. He also has Neurofibromatosis and had scoliosis. Less than a year ago he has surgery and his spine was straightened from over 90 degrees of curvature in the primary curve to under 5 for the whole spine. A miracle. The Doctor was hoping to get it to 30 and fuse it there. One of his concerns before surgery was that he would not be able to altar serve for over a year after the surgery. He got clearance 4 months out. He loves reading and listening to Matthew Kelly books with me. He asked me to put a copy on his tablet so he could read it again. There was much he related to. His surgery, his being hurt. His having hope.
And second Matthew Kelly speaks often about his top 20. His top ten he has shared often but the others change from time to time. A few years ago I was pressed to come up with me Top Ten Catholic Books, plus a few other great reads! Since coming up with that list I have added 5 titles to it, this is the fifth!
This is an excellent read and I highly recommend it! It is one of Kelly’s!
Note: This book is part of a series of reviews: 2021 Catholic Reading Plan!
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Sep 05, 2021 Lewis rated it it was ok
I am a huge Matthew Kelly fan. Rediscover Catholicism is my favorite and a
classic. I have read many of his books, and unfortunately, I think this one is the worst in my opinion. Matthew must have experienced something particularly awful, yet he leaves it shrouded in vagueness. That's definitely the biggest reason I could not finish the book. Perhaps, he finally said at the end what happened. I just couldn't get there. The book does have amazing moments like the Japanese art metaphor, the use of t Matthew must have experienced something particularly awful, yet he leaves it shrouded in vagueness. That's definitely the biggest reason I could not finish the book. Perhaps, he finally said at the end what happened. I just couldn't get there. The book does have amazing moments like the Japanese art metaphor, the use of the
children's song Row, Row, Row Your Boat, etc. Nonetheless, the book is messy like the title. It jumps from one nugget of wisdom to the next with little connection between them. Perhaps, the book just needed to be packaged and published differently as a collection of short essays, sayings, journal entries, etc. Finally, pick up another Matthew Kelly book if this is the first one you read. Trust me there are better ones. He is one of the best contemporary writers in my opinion. One
last thing: I fear Matthew is being absorbed by the white, male American mentality that we are losing our values as a nation, America was once a moral nation, etc. That would be terrible if it is true. I will pray he sees the brokenness of America and how it can be made more beautiful if we acknowledge its evil history in slavery, genocide, etc.
Jan 23, 2022 e_anne_b rated it it was amazing
1,000🌟🌟🌟
Excellent, everyone should read this! Sort of self help, mostly inspirational but also very honest and realistic. Somewhat spiritual but not overloaded with that aspect. Been through a lot of hardships the past few years and I can’t love this book enough!
Jul 18, 2021 Greg Schott rated it it was amazing
I received an advanced copy of this book through the ambassadors club and I read it in three sittings in two days! This book has a lot of great insight into the handling of ourselves as complicated humans living in a very tumultuous world. I recommend this book to anyone and everyone regardless of where you are in life. Give it a read - you won’t regret it.
Jul 05, 2022 Koko Casey rated it really liked it
4.5 ⭐️ this was my first self-help book EVER. let
me tell you guys. i got this book for $0.25 at goodwill. i literally picked it up bc of the cute cover…never did i think it would have THIS much of an impact on me. this book was SO incredibly eye opening and thought provoking. this book genuinely moved me. it was such an incredible moment of reflection and honestly, this book had me releasing a breath i didn’t know i was holding. just a little heads up, the author is a christian man who does shar this was my first self-help book EVER. let me tell you guys. i got this book for $0.25 at goodwill. i literally picked it up bc of the cute cover…never did i think it would have THIS much of an impact on me. this book was SO incredibly eye opening and thought provoking. this book genuinely moved me. it was such an incredible moment of reflection and honestly, this book had me releasing a breath i didn’t know i was holding.
just a little heads up, the author is a christian man who does share his religious beliefs here and there. i am NOT a christian, but still thoroughly enjoyed this. it wasn’t often that he inserted biblical references or things of that sort, but i was still able to use his beliefs that he shared and pick and choose what applied to me and my life.
i highly recommend this book to anyone and everyone! 💛🤎
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I'm glad the author made it clear in the beginning that this is a compilation of random journal writings. Otherwise I might have been dismayed at the lack of a linear, cohesive thread throughout the book. Since I was aware of the format, I was able to enjoy each section as a stand-alone offering and appreciate the nuggets of wisdom found in each. I'm glad the author made it clear in the beginning that this is a compilation of random journal writings. Otherwise I might have been dismayed at the lack of a linear, cohesive thread throughout the book. Since I was aware of the format, I was able to enjoy each section as a stand-alone offering and appreciate the nuggets of wisdom found in each. ...more
Oct 16, 2021 Mike rated it it was ok
"Life Is Messy" is more of a self-help book than a religious book. Apparently, according to Matthew Kelly, God is powerless in the face of "luck," which plays a major part in our lives. I hope one day Mr. Kelly will return to the Catholic Church. "Life Is Messy" is more of a self-help book than a religious book. Apparently, according to Matthew Kelly, God is powerless in the face of "luck," which plays a major part in our lives. I hope one day Mr. Kelly will return to the Catholic Church. ...more
Jan 24, 2022 Lori rated it it was amazing
Life is always going to be messy & this book helps you work through that. Things will not always be as you expected your life to go, people are going to hurt you, people you trusted are going to lie or deceive you and special people in your life will die. This is not a book to sit and just read through, it requires a chapter or two at a time so you can give careful thought to how Matthew Kelly's words can be internalized to bolster your life. I have SO MANY highlights in this book! Life is always going to be messy & this book helps you work through that. Things will not always be as you expected your life to go, people are going to hurt you, people you trusted are going to lie or deceive you and special people in your life will die. This is not a book to sit and just read through, it requires a chapter or two at a time so you can give careful thought to how Matthew Kelly's words can be internalized to bolster your life. I have SO MANY highlights in this book! ...more
Jan 31, 2022 Mary rated it liked it
This author churns out 3-4 books each year. These books are primarily sent “free” to his financial supporters and sold in bulk to churches where they are passed out freely to parishioners. That is how I happened upon this one - my sister got it from her parish. Our life is quite messy right now, with a family member recently diagnosed with state 4 pancreatic cancer, so I started reading. Right away you realize this guy is running out of material: the source material of this book is a journal he This author churns out 3-4 books each year. These books are primarily sent “free” to his financial supporters and sold in bulk to churches where they are passed out freely to parishioners. That is how I happened upon this one - my sister got it from her parish. Our life is quite messy right now, with a family member recently diagnosed with state 4 pancreatic cancer, so I started reading. Right away you realize this guy is running out of material: the source material of this book is a journal he kept during the most difficult moments of his life. Rather than all the sordid details of these moments, what he journaled were these snippets to help himself get through: quotes from books, individuals, newspaper articles, treasured tidbits from his childhood, insights from his parents, etc. There is no real structure to this book. It reads exactly like what it is: a diary of proverbs, some likely inspired by your average fortune cookie. ...more
Nov 08, 2022 Maureen rated it really liked it
Like many, this book mysteriously showed up in the mail (to my old name and old address) and I rejoiced in the magic. Free books are always magic to me! This one did not start out very captivating. I found it deeply repetitive and quite boring. But somewhere around the half way mark I really began to enjoy it. It is full of all the truths we already know but need constant reminding of. The author references some beautiful stories and quotes and poems and I want to hold on to all of them and not Like many, this book mysteriously showed up in the mail (to my old name and old address) and I rejoiced in the magic. Free books are always magic to me! This one did not start out very captivating. I found it deeply repetitive and quite boring. But somewhere around the half way mark I really began to enjoy it. It is full of all the truths we already know but need constant reminding of. The author references some beautiful stories and quotes and poems and I want to hold on to all of them and not let them slip away as the stresses and harshness of life goes on. How I want to remember to row merrily. Life is but a dream. ...more
Sep 11, 2022 Kelli rated it it was ok
I too randomly received this book in the mail as a PR thing I guess. It’s kinda funny. I wasn’t sure if it was a general book on the messiness of life or Christian or Catholic perspective. I think it’s more a self help guru type than anything. 2 stars for being bold enough to send a bunch of people your work. Ha
Because I got this in the mail, I did flip thru it, but I quickly abandoned it. It’s a lot of disjointed thoughts strung together. I also don’t think
I read anything new to the thought that life IS messy but worth it. Maybe a funny story here or there but n I too randomly received this book in the mail as a PR thing I guess. It’s kinda funny. I wasn’t sure if it was a general book on the messiness of life or Christian or Catholic perspective. I think it’s more a self help guru type than anything.
Because I got this in the mail, I did flip thru it, but I quickly abandoned it. It’s a lot of
disjointed thoughts strung together. I also don’t think I read anything new to the thought that life IS messy but worth it. Maybe a funny story here or there but nothing profound.
Apr 15, 2022 Mick M rated it really liked it
First half was 3/5; second half was 4/5. The best/most memorable points were The Old Man Lost His Horse parable, The soccer ball memory reflection, Autobiography in Five Short Chapters, and The Velveteen Rabbit excerpt.
Oct 28, 2021 Todd Payne rated it really liked it
I like Matthew Kelly and his work quite a bit. His insights here are heartfelt and helpful. Portia Nelson's poem, Autobiography in Five Short Chapters was the most meaningful thing I remember -- and it is enough. The book doesn't have a traditional structure and would
have benefitted from more revision and editing. Still, very helpful and on point for the messiness that we all have and our need to accept that rather then fight against it. Portia Nelson's poem, Autobiography in Five Short Chapters was the most meaningful thing I remember -- and it is enough. The book doesn't have a traditional structure
and would have benefitted from more revision and editing. Still, very helpful and on point for the messiness that we all have and our need to accept that rather then fight against it.
Matthew always puts things into perspective and has a way with words. How looking at the mess in your life and realizing it’s a part of human nature. We all have mess and it will be ok.
Life is messy. So was the book. Nothing terribly wrong with the book, just nothing terribly great about it, either. A bunch of small essays only loosely connected. Some may find this book helpful if they're going through an extended rough patch and haven't been able to adequately reflect on it themselves through introspection and meditation, but I didn't find the book that helpful. Life is messy. So was the book. Nothing terribly wrong with the book, just nothing terribly great about it, either. A bunch of small essays only loosely connected. Some may find this book helpful if they're going through an extended rough patch and haven't been able to adequately reflect on it themselves through introspection and meditation, but I didn't find the book that helpful. ...more
Terrible book that I would not recommend to anyone. The blatant shaming of addiction was an outright disappointment. Depressing book. If I could give it zero stars I would.
Quick read on the airplane! Good reminders but I felt it was lacking something…
This book is kind of a
hot mess. But you know what? That's okay. There is still a lot of good stuff in here. By applying Mathew Kelly's own recommendation to try simplifying the messy- I've distilled down my favorite takeaways from this book.
When your life is a mess, remember-
1. This is not your life. This is just your life right now.
2. We tend to misinterpret so much of what we experience. Difficulties often challenge our illusions and our assumptions. Stress, anxiety, unhappiness, depressio
This book is kind of a hot mess. But you know what? That's okay. There is still a lot of good stuff in here. By applying Mathew Kelly's own recommendation to try simplifying the messy- I've distilled down my favorite takeaways from this book.
When your life is a mess, remember-
1. This is not your life. This is just your life right now.
2. We tend to misinterpret so much of what we experience. Difficulties often challenge our illusions and our
assumptions. Stress, anxiety, unhappiness, depression are often signs that something is out of alignment. Try viewing people and things differently.
3. It's okay to feel stuck. It's okay to be stuck. But we are not created to be stuck. We are created to grow. And the only way to move forward is to move forward.
4. What are you avoiding that you should be confronting?
What pitfalls should you avoid when you are stuck in a mess?
1. Don't ADD mess because you think it doesn't
matter, things are already awful.
2. Don't EXILE mess by trying to avoid it or just starting over again with a clean slate. And don't let shame or appearance get in the way of change.
3. Don't NORMALIZE mess by desensitizing yourself to what is unhealthy or evil.
4. Don't SLEEPWALK through mess by doing the same things over and over again- following the same paths, playing the victim, blaming others, ignoring invitations to grow and change.
5. Don't let fatigue, lack of energy or
exhaustion LULL you into making and continuing bad choices.
6. Don't NUMB yourself to friction, stress, and pain. This could include poor coping mechanisms like substance abuse, gambling, withdrawal and self pity.
7. Don't FALL into the ABYSS of comfort. A "right" measure of comfort can be healing and rejuvenating. But too much indulgence in comfort is seductive and addictive and only fosters weakness, stagnation, dependency, and paralysis.
8. You will never find meaning in
meaningless things.
What CAN help you out of your mess?
1. "It was PEOPLE who ultimately drew me out of my sadness". Recognize and respond to people around you who are trying to help you move forward. And try helping others around you because THAT is intimately connected with increasing your own sense of wellbeing.
2. Surround yourself with a healthy, supportive environment, free of toxicity. Incorporate good people, food, sleep, exercise, prayer, reflection, reading...things that
encourage human flourishing.
3. Fight impulsivity. Sometimes the wisest and hardest thing to do is to be patient, to wait, to do nothing in the spur of the moment. Think and pray before you act.
4. We build our life one choice at a time. Harness the power of choice. The good life is filled with good stuff. Choose empathy, kindness, tolerance, service, generosity.
5. Whom do you need to forgive? There is no future without forgiveness. Forgive yourself and forgive others who have hurt
you. Some may have hurt you purposefully but some are simply emotionally incapable of behaving better. This is not to excuse their behavior but to accept people's limitations. You do not expect a toddler to have the emotional maturity of an adult. Stop expecting an emotionally handicapped adult to behave like a healthy one.
6. Simplify your life. Say NO to things that interfere with your health, your free time, your sleep, your financial security, your happiness. Say NO when you need to so
that you can say YES to those things that feed your soul. Don't be so bogged down by what you don't love and value that you can't say yes to those things that you do love and value.
7. Cherish the ordinary. You don't need bigger, fancier, more. Cherish peace. Cherish family and friends. Cherish freedom. Cherish the blessings you have that others don't.
...more
Jun 17, 2022 Eileen rated it it was amazing
Very good inspirational book by Matthew Kelly. Starts out with the
human dilemma.....Full of uncertain outcomes, sometimes beautiful and other times lacking logic.....there is nothing you can learn to buy, learn or accomplish that will eliminate the mess....It is Just LIFE.....Everyone has their own mess to contend with....Nobody has it all together.....We do figure things out, we laugh, we cry, we grow, and move on to new beginnings , second chances and amazing possibilities...It is a kind of b Very good
inspirational book by Matthew Kelly. Starts out with the human dilemma.....Full of uncertain outcomes, sometimes beautiful and other times lacking logic.....there is nothing you can learn to buy, learn or accomplish that will eliminate the mess....It is Just LIFE.....Everyone has their own mess to contend with....Nobody has it all together.....We do figure things out, we laugh, we cry, we grow, and move on to new beginnings , second chances and amazing possibilities...It is a kind of book you
can highlight for reference later on.....When my children were small we had a great book called "The Velveteen Rabbit." This is still a great read for adults........There is no secret to a good life. It isn't a mystery. Actually the essential ingredient of a good life is GOODNESS itself. It is right before our eyes. It tells us to fill our lives with goodness, love, kindness, gratitude compassion and generosity ......
Hope you like this book if you are searching.... for celebrating goodness
every chance you get. ...more
Oct 20, 2022 Morgan rated it liked it
This showed up in my mailbox somehow. Having never heard of the author, I decided to give it a go anyway. Like many other reviews, I agree that the rambling, disjointed wiring style requires a slower reading, but I think it pays homage to the title...."life is messy, and so is this book." There were some really insightful pieces sprinkled throughout but overall the writing contains a few too many cliches for lasting impact. But, considering that life is indeed very messy right now, I appreciated This showed up in my mailbox somehow. Having never heard of the author, I decided to give it a go anyway. Like many other reviews, I agree that the rambling, disjointed wiring style requires a slower reading, but I think it pays homage to the title...."life is messy, and so is this book." There were some really insightful pieces sprinkled throughout but overall the writing contains a few too many cliches for lasting impact. But, considering that life is indeed very messy right now, I appreciated those few insightful reflections and will refer to them again down the road. ...more
Dec 29, 2021 Jeannie rated it it was amazing
At first I didn't think this book would really apply to me as I'm
fortunate that my life isn't really "messy." Still I found that I underlined and starred quite a bit. Matthew Kelly always has good advice and suggestions.
Kelly used this as his Best Advent Ever 2021, so I also listened to his daily audios. (Yes, I had to play catch-up.
I also bought the Journal not realizing that was really just another variation of the book with journaling included. I'm saving it for me or a gift to someone else At first I
didn't think this book would really apply to me as I'm fortunate that my life isn't really "messy." Still I found that I underlined and starred quite a bit. Matthew Kelly always has good advice and suggestions.
Kelly used this as his Best Advent Ever 2021, so I also listened to his daily audios. (Yes, I had to play catch-up.
I also bought the Journal not realizing that was really just another variation of the book with journaling included. I'm saving it for me or a gift to someone else
perhaps someday. ...more
Just phenomenal! So many of the messages within this compilation of short chapters/headlines spoke to me. I appreciate that this was written in a means that applies to those religious and non-religious and it did not come across as “preachy”. I love reading books that prompt me to think and strive to become a better person. This book did just that. I hope to practice more goodness in my own life!
Sep 12, 2022 Jessie rated it it was amazing
This is such a good read to take day by day not all at once. So
many nuggets of wisdom and lessons to take from. I love Matthew Kelly and his books because they are intentional, can be put into action in every day living and relatable. Life is indeed messy but there are things we are capable of doing to live it well, with goodness at the forefront of our minds, heart, body and soul! It’s such a short book but it took me so long to read it because there is so much to learn from and I’m sure I’ll It’s such a short book but it took me so long to read it because there is so much to learn from and I’m sure I’ll go
back and need to reread excerpts to remind myself what I’ve learned lol
Jan 05, 2022 Pam rated it really liked it
Although this book was lacking in a logical structure and basically seemed to be a collection of thoughts, it kept me interested enough to finish it in one day. It had some good things to say about how we all are
connected in our struggles as humans. He also had some great points about how Social Media has not been a good thing for keeping us connected as humans. Ironically, it has divided us more than brought us together. He stresses how we need to get back to humanizing. We need to stop normali He stresses how we need to get back to humanizing. We need to stop normalizing evil and we need to get back to the simplicity of Kindness.
Really enjoyed the message here, fantastic reminders and things to remember thru our messy lives. I wanted to like this more, but the writing style here can be a bit distracting. Kelly does allude to this book being more messy than his others. I'd still recommend based on message alone. Really enjoyed the message here, fantastic reminders and things to remember thru our messy lives. I wanted to like this more, but the writing style here can be a bit distracting. Kelly does allude to this book being more messy than his others. I'd still recommend based on message alone. ...more
Matthew Kelly never disappoints. I always get something out of his books and keep coming back to them again and again. Love him and the book!!
Jan 12, 2022 Robin Atkins rated it really liked it
Very well thought out with life
lessons.
Living a good life is what matters.
Matthew Kelly was born in Sydney, Australia, where he began speaking and writing in 1993. Since that time he has travelled in more than fifty countries and spoken to over four million people. He has written twelve books which have appeared on the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today bestseller lists
and have been published in twenty-five languages. His titles include: The Rhythm of L Matthew Kelly was born in Sydney, Australia, where he began speaking and writing in 1993. Since that time he has travelled in more than fifty countries and spoken to over four million people. He has written twelve books which
have appeared on the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today bestseller lists and have been published in twenty-five languages. His titles include: The Rhythm of Life, The Seven Levels of
Intimacy, The Dream Manager, and Building Better Families. In addition to his efforts to help individuals become the-best-version-of-themselves, Kelly is also a partner at Floyd Consulting, a
Chicago based management consulting firm. His clients include: Pepsi, Procter and Gamble, the Department of Defense, McDonalds, USBank, 3M, Ernst & Young, HSBC, the U.S Navy, the U.S. Air Force, and more than 35 other Fortune 500 companies. His core message, regardless of whether he is speaking in a business, a school or at a church, invites listeners to become the-best-version-of-themselves. Kelly convincingly communicates this message as God's desire for each of us. And he insists
that it is also the desire of parents for their children, husbands and wives for each other, CEOs for their companies and employees, pastors for their communities and members, and managers for those they lead and instruct.
News & Interviews
Kerine Wint (she/her) is a freelance writer, editor, and reviewer of speculative fiction for publications including FIYAH literary magazine,...
“When we pretend to be somoene other than who we are, our true self hides in fear and shame; the fear of being discovered and the shame of not being enough.” — 1 likes
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