The husband hesitated on going to his wife's family for Christmas Day.
December 22, 2021 - 12:49PM
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The husband hesitated on going to his wife's family for Christmas Day, despite the fact her mum just died.
For the entire time *Deena and *Terry have been together, Christmas has always been celebrated in exactly the same way.
The weekend before, the couple travel to the town where both their families live. They always stay with Terry’s parents for the duration of the holiday season, as they have the bigger house.
They also spend Christmas Day with them before driving across town to Deena’s parents place for a second celebratory meal on Boxing Day.
Surprisingly, this arrangement has never bothered the 31-year-old woman before.
As she wrote on Reddit, Deena said that she hasn’t cared about where she and Terry spend Christmas Day as she just wants them “to be together”.
“However, last month, my mother died unexpectedly - so I want to spend Christmas with my father and sister this year,” she explained.
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Deena assumed her husband would be happy to spend Christmas with her family after her mum died. Source: iStock
"I just want to spend Christmas Day with my family"
Due to the special circumstances, Deena, who is also eight months pregnant, wants to spend both Christmas and Boxing Day with her family – and she thought that Terry would be happy to join her.
So she was extremely surprised and disappointed when he told her that he needed time to think about and discuss with his family about how to split the days.
“For me, the fact that he even needs time to process this and wants to consult his family is already a decision,” Deena said.
“So I told him to spend Christmas with his family and I will spend the days with mine.
“I don’t want him to join our ‘party’ if he might rather be somewhere else because it will definitely not be joyous this year...
“He thinks it’s unfair that I don’t want to give him time to think. Am I being unreasonable?”
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Reddit commenters weigh in on Christmas Day dilemma
Reddit users were divided in response to Deena’s question – unable to come to a consensus on whether she had taken things too far.
Some people were convinced that she had done the right thing and slammed Terry for not immediately stepping up to be by his wife’s side.
“If your husband of 10 years can't prioritise his wife at a critical time like this, then IMO he doesn't sound like much of a partner. FFS you're eight months pregnant and your mother just died!” one person incredulously said.
“The first Christmas after a significant loss is very important, and those in the immediate circle of loss get to call the shots in these moments. His family has taken priority on Christmas for their whole relationship,” a second commenter agreed.
But others thought that Deena had acted too hastily – criticising her for not giving Terry “a moment to even think about it.”
“The man wants to see his family at Christmas, stop demonising him for it,” someone else abruptly stated.
Wife responds to Christmas Day criticism
In response, Deena updated her post to thank people for sharing their opinions about the situation.
She also wanted to clarify that they would be seeing Terry’s family on the mornings of Christmas Day and Boxing Day as they are still staying there.
The afternoon and evening are the times that are still up for debate – with Terry still unclear where he will be spending the holiday.
“If he wants to come, I will not uninvite him again but if not, we will have the first day separated and the second day with my family and it will be fine,” Deena said.
“I apologised to him for the way I communicated because I came off unexpectedly harsh since he hadn’t really thought about the topic yet. We haven’t found the final solution yet.”
*Names have been changed
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