Posted by11 months ago
Archived
I recently met a guy at a coffee shop. We had a great conversation. I learned that he is new to my city and is studying to take a major exam to become a firefighter. Before he left, he asked to exchanged numbers, so that we could meet up again. I texted him that evening. He responded saying he’d like to get a drink to continue our conversation. I asked what his schedule was like and then…. Nothing. It’s been a full 24 hours since that last text, so am I getting blown off? Or do I wait it out?
It its Instagram or any other social media platform, whenever they post a new picture or story, I'll give them 2 days and then I'm done!
If it's WhatsApp, I look at last seen and I'll give them 3 days even if they're online because I understand we all get busy and barely check WhatsApp.
If it's general text message, I'll give 5 days and then I'm done.
So im using another site and started talking with this girl. Her profile is well written and it clearly said she was shy.
We started chatting and she said she was glad I sent her a message. We talk more and she lives literally a 5 minute walk away from me. We have common interests so I asked her for her number to text or talk but she said she's not ready to give out her number to someone online but she still wanted to chat.
It was getting late so I went to bed. the next day I missed her message because my phone didn't beep and I replied back to her message 2 hours later. The rest of the day she wasn't on until nearly midnight.
Because its another site I don't know if she read my message yet. The only thing I can see is that if she's currently online.
Now my question is how long would you wait for someone to reply back to that message before sending another or even giving up?
So far today I didn't see her online but she could be working in a place that doesn't allow her to check her phone or that site is blocked.
Posted by
24/f/sad
5 years ago
Say you went on five dates in the span of fifteen days (but who's counting?!) and then left for a few days for vacation. 12 hours? 24? A couple days? Also! Do you send a follow up or would that look completely desperate?
tl;dr I'm going to die alone
level 1
I just have a rule that I'll never send more than two texts without a reply. If I'm supposed to be more entertaining than that or keep stuff going on my own, fuck em. Don't even care if it's an intentional fade or not. I just figure someone that's really interested will keep it going and if they're stringing things along or just on the fence, I'll move along.
level 2
Yeah I had a personal rule of no more than three separate times that I texted or five total tests in a row, whichever came first. However looking back, I could have just used two or for texts in a row and had the same results.
level 1
I've never understood this whole vacation is a death sentence thing. I went on a few dates with a chick who WENT TO AUSTRALIA FOR A MONTH! When she got back, we went on a few more dates. No big deal.
level 2
My gf went on a month-long cruise after we'd been seeing each other (hadn't DTRed, hadn't done much of anything besides hang out and bang) for like... a month? I was definitely anxious about it.
level 1
years. I'm pretty sure some of those old dates are just super busy or whatever.
level 2
I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:
[r/orwhatever] super busy or whatever
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level 1
Depends. How long were the reply times before?
24 hours is generally it for me, mostly cuz I don't have interest in dating people who are bad texters/not interested in me.
level 2
· 5 yr. agoUsername, age, gender, profile name
Ditto. I'm shallow like that.
level 2
Curious how old you are. I think i'm a bad texter and really want to figure out how to get better. Sadly, I don't think there's anything I can do about it.
The 160 char limit to me means 2 options: say something funny or make a concrete plan. Full sentences are out of the question with that little room, and I'm not going to try and engage in something interesting if I can't express myself like I normally would when talking. What makes a good texter? How do you keep a conversation going if you can't think of a short jokey comment?
level 1
A day or two. More than that and you're probably just another option on their back burner.
level 1
Do they have a name for this yet?
Texting anxiety?
Why can't you live without contact for a few days while they are gone?
level 2
I was the one on vacation. I am back. I want to make out and possibly bang.
level 1
I only ever think they faded if I asked them if they want to meet up on a certain day and they don't reply at all. There isn't like, a particular length of time or anything, I just provisionally assume they've faded and if I get a text out of the blue then I guess they didn't.
Edit: Oh, you think they think you faded on them? If you sent a text by definition you're not fading, if they freak out over a few days absence you're dodging bullets.
level 1
I don't text people if they're on vacation unless they're gone for weeks, and if I'm on holiday I might not text back. If you've gotten back just text and be like "excited to be back, we should catch up over drinks so I can tell you about it" or whatever. If they don't respond, drop it.
level 1
Just text "hey you ded?"
If they ignore that, then you've officially been ghosted. 👻
level 1
· 5 yr. agoUsername, age, gender, profile name
Within the first 5 seconds of the first date
level 1
Leaving the bar at 6:30 pm with one beer and a happy hour quesadilla riding around in my belly now makes me want to puke in an Lyft on the way home. I'm aging. I don't have time for your shit. If I'm not the one, that's completely okay. I don't believe in shitty texters, just disinterested ones.
level 1
shouldn't have taken the vacay