If there’s one thing that every single person on this planet needs, it’s love. So John said, at least. Being in a relationship takes a bit of work, and it’s crazy for us to assume that things just work themselves out.
It’s sad that at times, many of us simply do not have the patience to work through something or see it through. Especially through the hard times. This is why so many people simply throw in the towel and walk away from what could have been a potentially strong relationship.
If you’ve broken up with someone and are now having second thoughts, it’s probably time for you to get out there and get them back. Give this thing another shot. If you’re not sure how to do this, follow the tips provided here to help you get back together, even if your breakup was painful…
Photo, Julian Myles.
Learn to Forgive
Forgiveness is the most powerful tool you can have as a person. Take a look back at the whole relationship and try to look at it from the outside, observing what exactly happened. Things clearly went wrong. Obviously things were said that can’t be taken back. And that’s probably why it was such a painful breakup.
Once you’re able to see the details of the whole relationship you need to work hard on forgiving your partner. But also forgiving yourself. Only when you genuinely do this will you be able to go after your ex and start a new chapter together as you work on the shortcomings you had the first time around.
Seek Guidance
If you don’t really know what to do or how to think about the situation, but really do want to get back with your ex, you can always ask for help. Sam from Get Her Back Guide says there is a process that you need to go through to ensure that you’re doing this the right way.
Talk to other people who have had messy breakups and have gotten back together. Consider visiting a couples therapist to get a professional point of view on the matter. And talk to your mutual friends to get their take on what went wrong and what they think you can do to make things right.
Photo, The HK Photo Company.
Reach Out and See Where They Stand
Once you’ve worked on yourself and are clear on what you need to do, the next step is to find out where they stand. Keep in mind that they are probably hurting too, so it’s important that you approach this in a smart way that won’t be overwhelming for them. You can ask their friends and family how they’re doing, and try to check in to just chat a bit. Don’t meet until you feel they will be receptive to the idea.
Communicate and Take it Slow
Communication is everything, and chances are, the reason the breakup was so bad was that there was a rift that totally destroyed the trust and resulted in a miscommunication; it can be as simple as getting the wrong end of the stick. Now is your chance to work better at this. Be honest, be kind, and be understanding. Take it slow and see where your conversations take you and if there’s any progress before making any rash decisions.
Photo, Tai’s Captures.
Show Them You Care
If you want to break the ice then you simply need to show them that you still care for them. Small gestures such as checking in regularly or bringing them a cup of coffee in the morning. Send them a message when you know they might need it most, or ask them about work, friendships or family. Just being there for them let’s them know you still care.
Make a Grand Gesture
Of course, there’s the old classic: flowers. (Look online for services such as flower delivery in Seattle, Los Angeles, New York and other major cities.) However, if you want to let them know you’re back with a bang, go grand. It could be as simple as having custom stickers of an old photo printed and leaving them everywhere, or it could be as wild as surprising them with a hot air balloon ride. Whatever it is, use your imagination, and do something you know fits your own particular relationship.
Show Them You Realise What Went Wrong
The most important move you can make is actually showing your ex that you know and understand what went wrong. It’s also important that you don’t only blame yourself. In fact, don’t use blame at all. Take responsibility for your actions and talk about how the both of you can move forward to learn from the past. Learn to leave it behind and start over stronger than ever to not make the same mistakes again.
Using the advice provided here you’re going to stand a chance with getting through the messy and painful breakup that you had. You can begin to move forward together. The key is to be patient, attentive, and not place blame. Because this will get you nowhere. It’s time to salvage the good and work on getting rid of the bad things that tore you apart, and you’ll see that you really have a shot at doing this right this time around.